Hello
 
Some people hate offices, and can't imagine themselves cooped up in one for 8 hour a day.  They like the great outdoors, they like the escape of different scenery, fresh air, working with their hands, and being a part of something that’s never the same.
 
Believe it or not, that’s me.  My computer is a porthole that opens up into infinite dimensions of discovery, learning, and achieving.  I live at 7,000 feet high and indoors or out, the air is fresh.  The closest major airport is a 4-hour drive away.  My keyboard and mouse are my hands in this world I love working in.  It’s fun, exciting, and definitely never the same.
 
Oh yea, and I do sumo.
 
I say this only because I don’t want to put in your mind the stereotypical aspect of being a computer geek.  Yes I am 400 pounds, yes I sit behind a computer all day in my little cubical.  And yes I say “no sir”, and “yes sir” to my superiors and constantly ask them if I can put a cherry on top of the statistical research and data that I provide for them.
 
But in this forum I invite you to think outside the box.  Exhilaration is in the eye of the beholder.
 
If you google my name on the Internet you may become familiar with me as Kelly Gneiting the Sumo Champion.  Yes, it’s true that I am the current and 2x- American Sumo Champion and have represented the United States 3 times in World Championship competition.  And it is also true that you may catch a moment’s glimpse of me in the upcoming blockbuster Ocean’s 13.  And finally, yes it’s true that I’ve helped organize nearly a dozen sumo events for charity, helping to raise over $500,000 in contributions.
 
But I’m also a computer nerd, who has been saved from taking the long way around because of this beautiful add-in called SQL*XL.  After all, I’m proud to say that I love short-cuts.  I’m a “short-cut” man all the way.  In sumo, the closest point to that out-of-bounds ring is where I want to push my opponent to, and on the job I despise running around in circles.  To use the outdoor metaphor, I don’t like hiking up one of the many mountains here on the Navajo Nation Reservation, when I can burn just as many calories walking to my car.  SQL*XL let’s me do that, thank you, thank you, thank you.
 
Catch me in the movies, on the sumo mat, or driving to church with my family.  The truth is more often I’m having my exhilarating experience in front of my porthole, taking short-cuts.
 
Happy to be among the living,
Kelly Gneiting